Thursday, May 31, 2012

I'm Awake!

We're closing in towards the last month of the first half of the year and I'm feeling a bit underaccomplished.

Just a bit though. I've been cooking a lot, have applied for passport, and fixed my room alright.

But it's like I've ignored that I still have to finish my school stuff and do work. I still haven't gotten my hands dirty with the planner. Or my paper. Or my documentary.

But today I feel like I woke up. Mentally. It happened when my brother made me realise it's already friday tomorrow. Or maybe it was just the delicious mug of coffee I made. Seasoned with nutmeg. Ah.

And oh, it's also JUNE.

Jesus Christ.

Anyway, I made Green Lemon Iced Tea from scratch! After making a lot of kimbap for dinner.

it's mint green tea, some juice from a lemon, and honey. and water. yea. basically if you put green tea and lemonade together, you get lemon iced tea.

PS: i mean, if you pop it in the freezer.
i wait till the outer stuff are frozen. then i crack it with a spoon and let the ice float.
better than watering it down with actual ice i think

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Lone Lemonading

  1. Take a half-squeezed lemon half from the fridge
  2. pull the insides from the skin with your finger holding it above an opened blender, removing seeds along the way
  3. Squeeze out whatever juice you can into the blender before popping the whole thing in
  4. dissolve a packet of stevia with a bit of hot water
  5. pour water enough for one person into the blender 
  6. blend
  7. put some ice in a glass
  8. sift the lemon water into the glass
  9. pour stevia water in 
  10. add honey to taste
and you got a mean glass of lemonade.

optional: mint syrup.

PS I mistakenly added the stevia water into the blender so some of it probably got caught in the pulp. So I added honey. Just a little though, I actually don't like my lemonade very sweet. Just enough to take the edge off the sourness.

And I made avocado-bean quesadillas for brunch! ate it with salsa :3 left half over. For Jaro. Or for myself if I ever decide I want it again. I'm settling for my herbed potatoes for now. Which is a funny way to say it considering it's like my favorite food in the world.

The end.


Desiring Candidly

  • to be a voice actor
    • for cartoons
  • to be a screenwriter
    • for cartoons
    • and films
  • a spiritual musical experience - with friends
    • a tapping band, like a totally chill, play whatever's handy or around kind of jamming, low prep, high-spirit music making
  • a smaller stomach
  • fake polaroids of my friends
    • edit, print, stick to a white polaroidish frame, laminate
  • a scrapbook of the summer
    • for emmy and me, with pictures and the cutout from the B.B. catalogue 
  • an awesome blog
    • jam packed and organized and always active
  • making stuff and seeing what people like and making more of whatever those are
  • a great kitchen where i'll make AWESOME FOOD
    • oven
    • huge counter with a sink and a disposal bin that's easy to clean
    • excellent knives
    • an herb garden at the windowsill
  • a grey fat cat and a tabby fat cat <3

By the power invested in me by time and lemonade I will put these in my plans and in my schedule.

Or at least dream about them a lot.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Getting a hang of this, I gotta say.

Burritos with

  • herbed cream cheese
  • salsa
  • refried beans
  • lettuce
  • rice
  • avocado
  • cumin

Again, NOT THE BEST ON ROLLING STUFF. oh well :3 Jaro LOVED it :D

Kimmbap, badubidap

Woke up late and realised it was a Monday not a Sunday and I only need to cook for myself! 

So relieved...

I asked Jaro if he'd already eaten after seeing the corn beef on the table, relieved to hear him say he made himself an egg and cheese sandwich. :3 I would be gutted if he gets stuck with corn beef just cos ate Bea didn't wake up early enough. I sometimes forget he's a grown man and can make his own awesome sammiches!

Anyway I still shared the kimbap I made. Not cos I'm mother theresa or anything, I just like blatantly asking for praise on stuff I make from a selected few people in my life. Jaro included. And well, I wanted to practice more but didn't want to eat too much. B-)

So anyway here's how I made them (warning, I'm a very messy chef. Feel free to be a little more careful about the rice than I evidently was in these pictures) :

  1. Make pickles the day before, or at least start 6/7 hours prior. 
    1. Chop radishes into long thin strips (I used daikon radish, which is a long, big, white, heavy kind) after washing and peeling. But I didn't peel mine. I'm kind of messy at times.
    2. Coat them with salt
    3. Let them sit for an hour (I'm pretty sure I didn't wait that long, I was making fried rice and my focus was divided), there will be water. Drain that away, and wash the salt.
    4. In a bowl (while waiting I guess) mix equal parts water, sugar/honey(I used half portions of each), and vinegar (I used cane). If using sugar, mix until it dissolves.
    5. Put the radish in the mixture, and leave it to soak
  2. Prepare the rice
    1. Season white rice with sesame oil and salt, about a teaspoon of oil for a cup of rice, and just enough salt to taste
  3. Prepare carrots and string beans
    1. Cut carrot into long thin strips
    2. Chop off the ends of the string beans and pull the string off the "vertebrae" of it
    3. Cook them a bit after spraying the pan with canola oil, just enough till the beans taste edible.
  4. Prepare the eggs
    1. Scramble one or two, you may add a pinch of salt
    2. Cook into a pancake
    3. slice into long, thin strips
  5. Prepare some cucumber/zucchini (again, long thin strips)
  6. Rock 'n' roll!

 There are loads of tutorials on rolling online. Just prepare a little bowl of water, a clean cloth to wipe your hands on, and a rolling mat.
  Our rolling mats have been used as placemats so they are unfit for direct contact with the seaweed. I remedied this by putting wax paper in between the two. Made it a bit harder, but I don't think I'd have done a perfect job otherwise since I'm a total beginner.
 I still munched a bit too much of these, but it's aight. Next time I'll do a better job and maybe not have to eat the badly formed ones before anyone sees, just like I did today. heheh. (nah I'm really just a glutton.)

I even ate the leftover fillings with some kimchi. I didn't eat all of the egg though. I gave the rest to Jaro. He said he's been farting a lot since he decided to not eat meat. I told him it's the eggs.

I don't think he minds.

I also made some lemonade in the blender. I'm the laziest person. I literally just keep a lemon half whenever I use the juice, and pull the insides (there will still be a bit of juice left), blend it with sugar and water, and sift it into a glass.

I looove lemonade.

The end.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

The G word

It's green. I'm not- I'm not even going to set this up with jazz fingers and shit anymore. The G word is green.

Green as in, green living. A green lifestyle. That kind of thing.

There's no denying that temperatures are changing, snow caps are melting, and that there'd been great big storms and floods and tsunamis lately. There's no denying that it's been an inconvenience. We can debate all we want about the politics of it, but it's imminent that a lifestyle change for all of us will really benefit our state of living these days. As humans. Not even discussing here if it matters at all that we thrive as a species. (We don't really matter much to anything else but ourselves if we think about it)
      As humans trying to live and live well, we certainly have problems in seeing the bigger picture and letting ourselves fit in the picture without tipping the balance and blowing shit up the picture, including our very selves.

       Personally, after the initial finding out of this whole green business, I have gone through many phases. It's usually packed a lot of either girl scout brand teamworkie optimism, whiny helplessness, passive turn the cheekiness, or even anger. I've tried being vegan for a short while, gave up on that because it's expensive to do when you're in a house living with three big carnivores and I realised how much thinking and planning it involved. I've also READ a lot about it, and felt about how I FEEL about it, and what my stand on the matter is. But when it comes to action, I really haven't done a lot. I save material and use them for many projects instead of throwing them, I skip meat a lot, but my laptop is on about 24/7 (and the battery is practically dead) and I've turned my A/C on a lot this summer (the thermostat is always on low and it's only for a few hours, but still, OFF is better than anything else). It's no secret that my willpower runs on snail power. I just can't be bothered being consistent with most things. I'm grade A lazy.

    My younger brother Jaro, who is about to enter college, sat me down the other day asking me about veganism/vegetarianism and the sort. Maybe it's because of the part of our trip to Baguio where we went to this place called "Oh My Gulay!" ("vegetable")... It's a really artsy place with a cool vibe that only serves vegetarian food. (enter cutaway flashback)
It's quite hidden so this framed signage/painting was very useful. When I saw it on TV I thought it was a standalone establishment because of the very intricate structure. It confused me, it looks like an outdoor indoor place.

Downstairs the building looked very plain. Like warm footsteps on the ground, this is the first thing you'll see that kind of signifies you're in the right place.

It's an adventure inside. The place gives you the feeling that it may fall apart at any time. But of course it doesn't.

Fun little bridge over a pond with koi fish. There's a sign asking you to not "feed" the fishies any coins. But they let you come close to the fish, which is nice. I bet they'd let me give them bread too. The water element rounded the place up quite nicely.
This little temple thing houses a cute toilet.

Mama while we were waiting for the others. There's a ship-like thingy you can climb on to. There are places to stay everywhere. Nothing is matchy-matchy.

La poquito cocina.

This place reminded me of my stay in Banawe. It felt like I was in the wild, treading ground that was not molded for man. It instead molds you. I don't want to read too deep into shallow water but it feels very fitting to the whole concept of the place, and the change it actually kinda caused in my family regarding food.

During that meal, I heard my brothers say something I NEVER thought I'd hear them say. My mom randomly asked "Do you think you can eat without meat now?" And they said yes.

I think many establishments like these, especially in my country (dishes are very meaty) start with this vision in mind. Showing people the gastronomical possibilities of vegetarianism. Some people do it for health, others for the earth, but eitherway, I believe it's a good thing if you can make the change.

My brother is still in that conflicted  stage where ne is pressured to go all or nothing. I assured him that he doesn't need to stick to a label, and that diminishing intake of meat is very good on its own. Perfection is overrated. The goal should be eating more vegetarian food and not being "a vegetarian" .. That way, you can do the good you are able to do and feel good about it instead of being pressured, or feeling bad during the times that you do eat meat. I asked him to not see it as a restriction but a thing to start doing.

Honestly I felt very good that there are two of us now. I didn't have that when I wanted to change.
So yesterday we went grocery shopping and bought meat-free ingredients for dishes I have started to plan. We made vegetable fried rice during lunch and I asked ate to cook some mushrooms and brocolli in oyster sauce. All the other people ate sweet and chili chicken with the veg food, but it felt nice to see another plate that's meatless on the table apart from my own. I feel this might be easier this time around :)

PS: Also it's cooled down enough for me to stop using the aircon! I just open the windows. That's usually a problem cos it makes insects come in but I know they only want me for my lightbulbs so I just make sure to turn the lights off too. This is actually a huge combo punch towards the right direction:

  • I spend more awake night time downstairs with my family
  • My room is dark for a longer period before bedtime so I get sleepy earlier
  • Lights off AND aircon off may just make up for the times I had to turn my a/c on this summer and the times I'll have to turn it on when Emmy comes. It's easier to hurt yourself in the dark when you're distracted by someone wonderful being in your room. Haha.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Here and Now

I realise more and more that where I am right now is already amazing.
I feel like I've always marvelled at other people's places, but with just a bit more decorating and fixing, my room is actually a dream come true!
Just look at my view T.T

Thursday, May 24, 2012

A Night of Make and Do

It's never too late to make a day count!

Yesterday was weird in terms of sleeping schedule. On Tuesday, Mama, my brothers and I went to DFA to apply for passports. I barely had any sleep so shortly after retreating to my room to wash up or internet it a bit and talk to Emmybuns before dinner, I actually fell asleep! I thought it was a good thing, but I actually overslept to about three times the normal amount. Here's my recounting of the chaotic oversleeps:

  1. Slept around 7:30, woke up shortly just to stop the bath faucet I left running, got woken up around 9:30 by my alarm, only had time to half-awakenly look at Emmy's messages. Then slept again
  2. Woke up around 4:30 AM. Thought to myself: "YAY I have rebooted my sleeping schedule to early mornings!" But NOPE. Fell asleep again.
  3. Woke up around 7:30 AM. Thought "Well that's not too bad, still early-ish." But nope. Fell asleep again.
  4. Woke up around 9:30. Thought "FUCK THIS SHIT" and pushed myself out of the mattress, ate downstairs, then took the bath I meant to take the night before while watching Adventure Time.
  5. Dried myself up and got dressed, watched some more Adventure Time on my bed. Bad idea. FELL ASLEEP AGAIN. 
  6. Finally woke up at 12 PM. Whatever.
So I started the day like my usual late days. It's normal for me to wake up shortly before 10, stay in my room to attend to computer stuff (watch stuff or whatever, for example, today it was Miss Potter) then at the last minute before noon, I try to salvage myself and go downstairs so I can tell myself I started the day before noon.

As a person bereaved of the company of routine in her everyday life, I usually stress over the actual number hours I have each day, thinking I will need cushion time to get things going, but actually end up using the whole day as a cushion. Basically, in a day, I just eat, take baths or showers, clean, read, think, and surf the internet.

Well yesterday afternoon, as I explicitly stated on one of my Tumblrs, I was ailed with a special longing (burst of mental energy, more like) to create something. Jewelry, specifically. I have so many materials in my room and so many ideas that I keep putting off. But I guess, with the combination of our weekend trip to Baguio, a personal initiative to create that's been inside me for a while, and then stalking blogs of people who are actually making something happen with their lives, came a natural reaction for me to start flowing outwards. And it kept pouring long enough for me to even do my nails in the style I intended to earlier in the week:

This was under bad lighting in my room. It looks better today.

And finally here are the pieces I ended up making:

Wire-writing goodness

Quite satisfied as I went to bed last night :)

Way to happiness? Happiness *is* the way.

If life is the roadtrip, where is happiness? I want to believe that it's the vehicle.

And man I wanna go there.
(no seriously get me one of these)

I'm beginning to actually see and feel how irrelevant the outside forces are when it comes to true happiness. I've learnt it before, but in a way I keep repeating but somehow still feel like I haven't mentioned it enough, knowing something is at a different level of learning than living it, is. (If you're not familiar: One employs the conscious, and the other, the subconscious, to an extent.) I can now attest to this claim because lately I have been very blessed and from any objective, third-person angle, I should be exuberant with gratitude over all of the possibility and freedom available to me. Instead I am pleased, but also scattered and often too confused to really soak it all in.

When your heart (brain, actually) isn't in the right place, (which is, the place where it's best receptive to happiness and seem to point everything to that response) how rich, beautiful, in love, or talented you are won't really matter. It might for a period of time, which is for your brain to completely absorb the new "good" event (like winning the lottery) but after it all, happiness will always be in you as you. It will have to be the way you live instead of something that is given to you, or something you come across along the way.

Now for some crazy-sounding talk because I'm sleepy and honestly can't be bothered to organize myself:

        Put the focus inwards, and smile like it's the only way to be. Don't force it in the face, feel it in the center of your chest first until it glows outwards. Like the funny Ketut Liyer said, smile from your liver. Feel it and let it cradle you as a way to be, a way to go, a way to travel through life. Stop waiting for it. You don't have to go to India or Italy or Indonesia (although if you can, why not). Be calm and know these are Eat Pray Love references and you need not worry about googling that anymore. Be still and know that happiness inside there somewhere. *pokes your chest* It's a body response, that's all it is. You don't need to do anything spiritual or magical or whatever. Just sit, be calm, and let it happen! You don't need a reason. This is a common misconception that has duped us to the billions. If you can access that feeling on your own WHY THE HELL NOT. Life is short. Don't wait for things that are inside you. 

Don't stop at being happy. BECOME happy. Be a vessel of happy. Be a happy camper.

Then like you're made of glitter you won't be able to help yourself from making everything you touch sparkle with the same light that's already inside. You will start to see the romanticism in your surroundings. Everything will seem sweeter. It's just a paradigm shift. Happiness isn't just a way to be, it's also a way to see.

Dearest Bea stop being a wuss. Grab everything that has been made available to you. You have been given so much.

Thursday, May 17, 2012


Had a little soak today in the tub,
with the meditative musical stylings of Sigur Rós,
in the very weak gray-blue light of the cloudy sunset.

Can't remember the last time I felt that peaceful. I guess with the very solemn, soulful, quiet style of Sigur Rós (and I call it meditative because aside from the ethereal falsetto thing, the arrangements are unconventional in a way that doesn't let you quite follow it in a way a regular song would; hence keeping your mind suspended from/around it instead of clinging to it. Not to mention it's in Icelandic, so there's another level of detachment and suspension. I hope that made sense to you as it does to me.) ...

Forever thankful to Carmen for getting me into this band
They have accompanied and made possible peaceful sleep (and baths) when even silence couldn't.
...and the way the light made everything monochromatic, I guess my surroundings were just somehow simple enough, pure enough, that it enabled me to absorb the moment in its entirety.

And what a wonderful time I had.

I hope that with practice I will get to perfect this art of soaking it all in even in the usual technicolor noisy beautiful chaos that surrounds me.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


With love, friendship and ideas!

If only it was easier to put them in order though!

It's quite hard to stay put when I feel like so much is going on, and as you may already have noticed, that's usually dangerous! Usually, nothing actually gets done!

Hold on I'm getting carried away with the exclamation points again..



So. Life Update:

  1. I have my eye on a few books: 
    1. Song of Ice and Fire boxed set
    2. The Happiness Project
  2. cooking up ideas, but i don't want to speak yet until they are more concrete, but this year the goal is to create a 2013 planner! So stick around for that I guess.
  3. going to take up more regular reading 
  4. going to take up meditation
  5. might join the local gym 
  6. feel like i need a new, more powerful computer for video editing?
  7. so many plans with my best brofriends about things we've always wanted to do! kinda gives me chills to think that we're here now, at that age when we've dreamed those dreams will happen. these involve creating a home together, and helping form the local music scene. (And I mean WAY local. Santa Rosa-near Tagaytay area.)
  8. I'm taking care of my appearance a bit better lately. Heh.
  9. I feel a bit more confident in myself :)
  10. I feel that I've gotten a bit better in expressing myself and communicating with others.
Sorry for the very vague post, I just wanted to make an update without letting it eat up much of my time like usual blogposts. With more practice though I'm sure I'll be able to deliver good ones without wasting so much time. Sorry, the whole point of the blog is that you're witnessing a work in progress you know!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Be whole.

Sometimes people are BUTTHOLES.

No need to put it kindly, we're all adults here.

Essentially, people are wired to be selfish. Even selflessness is selfish. What? You put other people before yourself? That's nice. You must feel pretty good about yourself. Great job. But in the end it's all about feeling good about yourself. Not feeling guilty. Feeling like you've done enough. Treading the earth with a light conscience.

Everybody wants to be a cat.
Cats know where it's at
See this cat? He doesn't give a fuck.
We all don't give a fuck.
The difference is cats are straightforward about it.

I was feeling very lonely this week. I felt like I was out of touch with people. I looked for company. It didn't come from the people I wanted it to come from. But it came.

I'm getting quite distracted here because I want to dance to the music I'm listening to and I'm quite disoriented as always but I will TRY to make this one make sense.

There was a point somewhere where I realized that longing for company was dumb. Like wildfire, a way of connecting flowed out of me in a way I haven't felt for the longest time. It was like I felt nobody really cared, so I stopped caring. I just did what I want. I talked to people I wanted to talk to, I said what I wanted, and they could do what they want, say what they want, or even ignore me if they wanted, because I did what I wanted to do, and they are none of my business anymore. I'M my business. Being nice to them is my business. But if they wanted to be assholes to me, that's their own life's journey. I shouldn't take anything personally. Whatever.

Quite ironically, I felt my relationships become more genuine, and I found the people who really gave a fuck about me. And I loved the people I loved in a realer way. I feel like my relationships that were thriving were genuine and the connections were real and not trying to become anything "ideal".. They just were what they were. Pure, organic, just the way nature intended.

Example, I felt free enough to like stuff my boyfriend hated, and I didn't cringe as much as stuff he liked that I hated. (Emmy you can see me bobbing  my head but you have no idea I'm listening to Black Eyed Peas. HAHAHA.. Nah you're actually too focused on looking for a gift for my mum B-) ..or being a Ravenclaw UGH /end commentary)

And in the end, the differences actually seemed to matter less.

It's hard to explain, but if there's a lesson I would like to take from this, it's this:


Be happy IN yourself, WITH yourself. Learn to be happily alone. Be a hedonist. Not in a way that harms other people, not in a way that is disrespectful of other people, but in a way that puts feeling good FIRST.

Look, I'm not saying stop caring. I'm just saying care about yourself more and put your focus there. When you long for the company of people, you pour your life energy outwards, making it disperse into (frankly,) a void, instead of using it to build yourself from the inside.

If it feels like people are slipping away, LET THEM SLIP AWAY. People are erratic beings. They will usually come back eventually (I mean, if they felt like it). Just calm your tits and focus on yourself. What do YOU want to do today? What's something you'd like to do right now that will make you grow as a person?

Be nice, be respectful, be friendly. But when people are being jerks, after the initial sting, DROP IT.

You don't need to mourn them. You don't need to feel bad. It's not about you. It doesn't mean you're not worth it. It just means that YOU ARE NOT THEIR PRIORITY RIGHT NOW. And that's okay.

Paranoia is a sign that you have been resisting the flow of life. You have built a vacuum of bad possibilities by not working towards the good ones! Now stop worrying about earthquakes and car accidents and getting arrested or people seeing you naked and start CREATING things and building yourself.

The more you worry about other people, the less you are sure with who you are.

Fuck "cool", fuck "pretty", fuck "important", fuck "appropriate".

Stop living according to the past. Look forward.

Like what you like. Be as you are. Like what you are. Be sincere. Be authentic.


Thursday, May 10, 2012

How to Shrug It Off

There will be times in our lives where people will tell us things we don't want to hear.

There are times where it's something helpful, there are times when it's not, and there are those times were some of it is helpful but not all of it. Those ones are the hardest to deal with.

It's easy to shrug it off when it's a stranger, or a random person. Mean anons on Tumblr, for example, are usually so easily shrugged off with a comeback. Their words enter your brain, and maybe flutter in your chest for a second, but usually, they don't have the power to hate yourself. They only make you hate them.

However, personally, when it's an important person in my life, it becomes a little tricky. It suddenly feels like I have to defend myself, because it matters to me what they think is true. And in some level at times, I might also start to believe what they say.

I am faced with this right now, and I want to share with you what I want to do about it. This is me telling myself these things.

  1. Remember that they are words. You can take them or leave them. After the initial sting wears off, organize your thoughts. Consider what was said, but remember that just because these people are close to you, doesn't mean their words should be taken without contemplation. Assigning so much more weight on the things they've said that they didn't even think about than you would if it was a random person does not prove that you love them. It just gives them a greater chance to hurt you, which nobody really wants to have. If they love you, I assure you that they don't want that. They don't want to hurt you, they just don't understand you.
  2. Take the good with you. When you find something helpful in what they have said, dust it off of the unnecessary hurtful things, and take the part that is helpful with you. For example, turn "you don't care about anyone else, you're so lazy" into "I should do more chores".. This part is very hard to do because your brain will repeat the hurtful stuff. When it does, just tell it calmly and sternly (emotionally resisting will give it more power) "no that's not true. i don't need that." and focus on the task at hand, that is, in this example, doing chores.
  3. Don't argue with a close-minded person. It just escalates the argument, no matter what tone you take. If the person has a preconceived image of you in their mind and are not open to reconsider, you will hear it in their voice. When they describe you to yourself, it will sound like they are very sure, while it sounds ridiculous and wrong to you. Just say what needs to be said calmly and statement-like. Rid it of all emotional bursts because an angry person will feed off of that and make it grow bigger. They subconsciously are looking for an emotional reaction to escalate from. It's not their fault, they just don't see what they are doing in their state. Take the higher road and
  4. Just know who you are. Be so sure of it that nobody can tell you otherwise and convince you. Love yourself, trust yourself, and let yourself become the person you want to be. A lot of times these people might tell us something about who we are that we don't agree with, because our state of mind is different from our state of doing. It's not what they see. And that's okay. Don't live in their terms. Live in yours. If you feel like the best is yet to come for you, just do your best to close the gap. WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF IS WHAT'S IMPORTANT. Be so happy about who you are that there's little room for insecurity. Every once in a while someone knocks us out of balance by saying things like this, so we need time to pull ourselves back to our center. Remember that who you are is enough. Finally,
  5. Don't hold grudges. Once in a while, try to look at things from their point of view. If something important needs to be said, say it calmly, but say it. Don't make a habit of keeping things inside and letting them eat you. If you can't let go of them, let the person concerned help you. Have a healthy discussion about it. But only initiate these if it's needed. Doing this too much actually creates chaos. Your goal, always, should be creating peace. Don't be so hungry in defending yourself. Pull your head out of your ass and see the world around you. Work with the bigger picture in mind. Your image is not crucial for humankind's well-being.

In the end we're all just little specks in the universe. We all have brains, we all have wrongs, we all have rights. But in any case we can only see the world through our personal experiences. Allow a healthy distance between you and the important people in your life. Remember that you can be one, but never the same. Don't expect ANYONE to understand you all the time, to be everything you need, or to fill the "role" your mind has for them in your life perfectly. We are all just people. Our roles should not define us in this time and age. If they did, a lot of human rights will be trampled on. Live and let live.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

I have a happy plant!

The roses I tried to propagate have died, but an unexpected miracle took its place.

While I was anxiously handling the roses to get them ready, I half-absentmindedly plopped a stalk of basil (from the alfredo fettucine I made one day) into a glass of water at the windowsill. In my head I was considering the possibility that this plant might live instead of the roses but I was hoping that the roses would live too.

Anyway, after a few weeks/days I noticed that it was very green and alive. The roses died but because of this I didn't feel so bad. I looked at the bottom and saw that it was beginning to root! I also noticed something very peculiar about it:
It's smiling! 

It actually has a face. Different nodes have formed "eyes" (complete with eyebrows) and a smiling mouth. How amazing is that? and it looks like it has arms holding pompoms gleefully at you. What a happy-lookin cheerleader plant.

It even gets red-eye in pictures like a human being.

Maybe the smile bounces off of me when I look at it and think good thoughts and so it gets love vibes and continues to grow even without soil (I do want to get soil though. I just want to get proper potting soil so that I don't kill it D:)


This is how it looks like now, its pompoms have grown a lot bigger (leave it to a gardening noob to describe plant anatomy in like fashion) :

WEEEEE! i am a happy happy basil
Edit: there's a bit of brown in the bottom and googling research has lead me to believe that it's because of poor drainage. Basically my plant is drowning because I've waited too long to put it in soil, so I took a bit of sand and soil and set it there for the meantime. I really hope I get proper soil (and instruction from my mom's friend) very soon.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Summer Lovin/Lovin Summer

Things I love about summer so far

Fruit picking

Our aratilis tree is quite fruity these days, first summer in bloom for it, I believe. I fitted and bent a piece of wire and attached it to an umbrella and stuck a bread bag to pick some of the fruit. Yes I'm a junglewoman. My brother halped me reach the higher ones. :)

Quality Family Time

cooking food together

our double chin faces

Our schedules are somehow freer that we're able to be available when mama wants to eat out so there've been a lot of that, and cooking together, and eating dinner together, it's kind of awesome. :)

 Free time!

Here's a picture of a pineapple I peeled on the floor. I afterwards made some awesome juice with it. I am now able to make whatever I want to eat or drink because I have so much time. I'm still trying to get myself to sleep earlier but now that I've put my bed in a better position (I have time to keep rearranging my room now) sleep seems to come easier. But I don't know, I've only tried it once.

drawings i made for Emmy to explain my room arrangements. apparently my bed is now in a place in my room he didn't even know existed haha

Now that my room and sleeps are okay-er my next project is to meditate on my life's intentions and start doing creative activities and stuff.

My family has a vacation lined up this month, and there's mother's day, and I'm getting my passport soon..

So many things are happening and it feels so fast, so I hope meditation will help me ground myself to the present moment once more. I'd love to let a better, higher, deeper kind of awareness guide me in my actions and to quiet so many anxious thoughts in my head :p

Love life!