Way to happiness? Happiness *is* the way.

If life is the roadtrip, where is happiness? I want to believe that it's the vehicle.

And man I wanna go there.
(no seriously get me one of these)

I'm beginning to actually see and feel how irrelevant the outside forces are when it comes to true happiness. I've learnt it before, but in a way I keep repeating but somehow still feel like I haven't mentioned it enough, knowing something is at a different level of learning than living it, is. (If you're not familiar: One employs the conscious, and the other, the subconscious, to an extent.) I can now attest to this claim because lately I have been very blessed and from any objective, third-person angle, I should be exuberant with gratitude over all of the possibility and freedom available to me. Instead I am pleased, but also scattered and often too confused to really soak it all in.

When your heart (brain, actually) isn't in the right place, (which is, the place where it's best receptive to happiness and seem to point everything to that response) how rich, beautiful, in love, or talented you are won't really matter. It might for a period of time, which is for your brain to completely absorb the new "good" event (like winning the lottery) but after it all, happiness will always be in you as you. It will have to be the way you live instead of something that is given to you, or something you come across along the way.

Now for some crazy-sounding talk because I'm sleepy and honestly can't be bothered to organize myself:

        Put the focus inwards, and smile like it's the only way to be. Don't force it in the face, feel it in the center of your chest first until it glows outwards. Like the funny Ketut Liyer said, smile from your liver. Feel it and let it cradle you as a way to be, a way to go, a way to travel through life. Stop waiting for it. You don't have to go to India or Italy or Indonesia (although if you can, why not). Be calm and know these are Eat Pray Love references and you need not worry about googling that anymore. Be still and know that happiness inside there somewhere. *pokes your chest* It's a body response, that's all it is. You don't need to do anything spiritual or magical or whatever. Just sit, be calm, and let it happen! You don't need a reason. This is a common misconception that has duped us to the billions. If you can access that feeling on your own WHY THE HELL NOT. Life is short. Don't wait for things that are inside you. 

Don't stop at being happy. BECOME happy. Be a vessel of happy. Be a happy camper.

Then like you're made of glitter you won't be able to help yourself from making everything you touch sparkle with the same light that's already inside. You will start to see the romanticism in your surroundings. Everything will seem sweeter. It's just a paradigm shift. Happiness isn't just a way to be, it's also a way to see.

Dearest Bea stop being a wuss. Grab everything that has been made available to you. You have been given so much.