Wednesday, November 4, 2015


Just a warning, I will say the word "fate" here at least 1/10 times as much as it was said in this ^ movie.

I used to romanticise a few things that I find silly now: Unrequited Love, my future that I believed was "destined" for me, my fate in general.

I fancied myself a martyr for love, and I guess deep inside I was holding out for fate, believing it was destiny I sensed that caused my obsessions for those innocent bystanders that I happen to ordain with my affection from afar.

Of course it was not, and instead it was me choosing them, I didn't know I was, but I chose them while simultaneously holding on to the belief that I wasn't choosing them; that fate chose them for me somehow, and thus my obsession lingered and festered and ate me from inside.

I fancied myself special, someone inherently "meant to succeed", who cannot possibly fail, someone who'd find their way handed to them even if they just sit idly by, because people will recognise whatever value they had within them.

Of course this wasn't the case, and I soon found that I had to actively Show Up, Get Inspired, Have Ideas, Create Things, and Show My Work in order to be of value to anyone. I will not always be able to rely on people assigning things for me to create. Life as a creator means finding the needs myself, and filling up the spaces I find; a skill I'm still trying hard to learn to this day.

Life does not choose. Life is a book where our stories are written as they happen. Fate on the other hand, is like an imaginary book where things that have not happened are already written and fixed. How do we find out our fate? We can't. It cannot actually exist outside of the present moment and the moments that have already passed. Fate is a concept we pick up in our deck of psychological ways to cope when we want to be sure of things, or contented with what is there. It is something we sometimes use to soothe ourselves of our own responsibility in how our lives turn out. That's the difference between saying "Whatever happens is meant to be." and saying, rather that "Whatever happens, happens." The first one assumes that there's something else that is in charge. The second one does not imply anything, just that what is, is. In taking life as it is, we are closer to truth, and we can more easily access how to deal with this truth.

When they say "You make your own destiny", that means there is no path to find. You are dealt with a set of random cards time and again, and for every round, you choose. You can either choose carefully, knowingly, choosing as your heart desires, or you can play the whole game thinking the book of fate tells you all the answers, leaving you to second guess your choices endlessly.

Here are the facts:

  1. You can't control everything.
  2. Neither can anybody else.
  3. But everyone can control something. No matter how it looks, you have ways available to you right now to at least steer towards the right direction.

And sometimes, that is all you need to do good in this world.

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