that's how my life feels right now.
there's a fight inside me between growth and a form of authenticity, or is it complacency? i'm sure that this job is not my calling, it takes effort to stay afloat. there's no bottom to tread. but if i stop swimming and keep walking like i'm used to, maybe i won't grow into who i really am either.
im sure there is a way to stay authentic in circumstances that are inauthentic. maybe it's a piece in my life's puzzle. it's just a stage of life. in any case, what lies at the end, if it really is there for me, is worth it. so i'll keep swimming.
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| ...yyyyyyup. |
Just keep swimming, figuratively, and hopefully, you're not swimming literally in the typhoon.
ReplyDeleteI understand where you're coming from. I too don't think that your job is your calling, but you did experience the end an era that was college and I think a bit of the mundane can serve as a resting place / plateau while you contemplate what's next in your life.
Although, you never know. I thought doing residential architecture was a plateau back in 2001 when I was trying to get to 3D animation and it became the one niche in architecture that I found worthwhile. Of course, my journey is not your journey. I just say this to say that sometimes surprises lie in the most unexpected places.
I hope you continue to ask yourself these introspective questions because that'll keep your head up to breathe in life. Good luck, Bea!
I also hope you're staying on dry ground!
hi tita! i just recently quit haha :) but i've saved enough munnies for my plans and it was making me miserable and not myself so i guess it's okay! :) i hope i find my thing soon :) i know i'll feel it once i find it :D at least faintly, cos this time i felt the opposite of a calling with this job :( but there's a first for everything! it was a good experience overall. especially once i forget all about the bad stuff.
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