Redirect, redirect.

One lesson I've decided to take into heart recently is to not be too hard on myself about plans unmet and to be zealous instead at re-planning based on daily assessments and developments in my work. Taking what is as it is. No mourning allowed. Energy that I don't want to spend mourning would stay clear off the "negative emotions zone" better if I spend it on something else, and the most useful thing to spend it on is re-orienting my intention into new plans.

Basically I'm recycling the tension, transforming it into motivation. Distress to Eustress.

The problem with plans for me is that I can't plan too far ahead lest the often-inevitable scenario wherein I lose interest in what past me wanted to happen and completely avoid the goal. I have a bad case of the floating world complex, as you may call it.

This coming week I decided to condense goals into one or two a day, and moved my deadline farther to accommodate such a feat. I'm nearing the actual deadlines too much so i only stretched so far as to have a few days before the actual deadline for possible corrections and follow-ups.

If this technique works, then it would mean that I have found the correct pace for me. I usually try to jam so many stuff into the span of one day, seemingly momentarily, repeatedly oblivious to the fact that although there may be 16 waking hours of life every day, I never have 16 hours of focus.

On Friday night, it was caused by another experiment that failed. The concept of me planning only for the next day and not beyond, to avoid the aforementioned dissonance in intention between present me and future me. I listed three goals and respective times for beginning and ending, stressing out Saturday self, making her nap and stall compulsively. It was not pretty.

On the upside, I found a really cheap laptop I'd like to purchase.

On the downside of the upside, I don't have even that much money and I do not reside in the US.

On the upside of the downside of the upside, I learned a lot of new, very useful information about computer specs, reviewed some grade school math, and talked to precious friends.

To be completely fair though, it might have worked if the three goals were small ones instead of humongous ones which involved an invisible roaring beast fan in my laptop which bared its fangs whenever I attempted to progress.

So, TL;DR:

Failed: Big numerous goals in rigid day-long timeline.

Testing: One big goal (or small numerous goals) each day for the week + space (read: day/s not hour/s) for corrections and unexpected stuff.

Also, I have to get my laptop repaired, but can't yet because I'm using it.

Also, calm your tits, look ahead, keep trying.

Also, I probably shouldn't think too much about my sleep schedule. I bet it's counter-productive. Times wherein I successfully slept during normal person hours came from me not giving a rabbit's butt and just going about my day as if sleep will fall into place wherever and it doesn't matter. It's 5:50 AM, yes, but I'm going to sleep soon-ish, have an activity set for the day, and will probably fall asleep earlyish-like. But if not, that's okay too.

Let the subconscious handle the sleeps, make the conscious focus on the tasks.