mah cwib

Sometimes, my cousin's girlfriend Vaness comes over to take a nap after a shooting in Tagaytay. They have really early hours sometimes so she catches some sleep on our (magical sleep-inducing) sofas before or after a taping.

Recently she went upstairs to say bye because apparently I was the only person in the whole house (I know, very responsible of me to sleep until noon heh). Weirdly, just a couple of days before that I realised how she's never come up to my room before, and surely enough she says, so this is your room.. And of course I let her in.

My room was really messy as I haven't really fully tidied up since Emmy left at the time, but she seemed to like it, she said that she used to always want an attic room when she was younger. Then I realised out loud, Yeah, me too actually! I suddenly remember wishing I had Raven's room in That's so Raven. And now I'm here in the attic of our house, with almost a complete floor to myself. How fucking lucky and undeserving of me!

I remember a few years ago where I felt like my room didn't exactly fit my expectations. I loved having it, but at the back of my mind I always felt stuff like, if I can only get rid of some of these things.. It's the attic, so a lot of the useless junk from moving house was left in it.

Very slowly, I started to purge the unnecessary stuff in my room, and those that are still used but aren't really mine, like the bedsheets, I started to plainly accept, and I felt happy to keep for my family.

I've been constantly moving stuff in my room, and now I think it really feels like home. This is the final layout. I still have ideas for the space, and some elements I just added today, and some color ideas, but yep... The way I feel about it now is how I envisioned to feel in my new room :)

My makeshift "vanity" out of an old sewing machine and the percolator Emmy bought to allow us to take hot baths.

In a weird way, my room started to feel complete after it's acquired some of the stuff Emmy left. Maybe it's a coincidence (just the way i arranged it recently) or maybe it tells a story now, it reflects something that's really precious to me.

I left the dress Emmy bought for me in Boracay hanging outside my closet instead of inside.

 There's an area in my room, just after coming in the door that I always wanted to be the receiving space but never really fully used because there was always stuff in it, and I kept thinking I needed living room furniture. On my birthday I decided that throw pillows can do the job, but it never really felt put together until I decided to make the pillows look like a couch today. So now I have a floor-seating living room, kinda.

My writing area right at this very moment that I am writing this.

My desk is messy again, but I know where everything is so it would be easy to tidy up. As you can see there's an addition of Emmy and I's oldtimey pictures from Taal and the little netbook he left me. And I took turdl from the bookcase cos I realised I'd rather be having him on my bed.

In case you haven't figured, the deskboard is the back of my closet. it's perfect for the job and divides my room well. One side is the study/bed/receiving area and the other side is the bathroom/storage/"vanity" area.

On top of my closet/cabinet thingy is a picture of my mum and I when I was a baby and some other random knick-knacks. Like the Matryoshka doll set that I never got to fully appreciate till I had my own room to put it in. It's missing one doll and I have no idea where it is.

I obviously have a thing for bottles. I tend to keep Tazo and Arizona iced tea ones, as is obvious from these pictures and this gif from June (remember?):

Door details; the paperbag is something I bought from a retreat cos I obviously have always loved the night sky theme, never got to use it (never had the heart to give it away) but I'm very happy to let it just hang on the door for decoration. I don't realy love my doorknob so I put stuff on it. I love my see/speak/hear no evil alien tie. I usually just pull on it instead of the doorknob when leaving. I put a string with some clips on the wall because I have maps in the cardboard envelope thing (visible in the previous picture of my writing space) and I thought I could hang em there if I wanted to use em or whatever, they're pretty too so if I was in that mood, I can just hang em up.

 So yeah. I like my messy room. It feels like me now. :)

As a bonus have this trippy gif of my mirror's default image when it's on the magnifying side.