Saturday, October 29, 2011


Well, Hi! .. I guess..
Holy christ, this is a big thing! I'm starting a brand-spankin' new blog, and I'll be honest: I feel very self conscious about this opening for some reason. These will be the first words! This will be the first entry! Aaaaaargh! 

...Oh no I've blown it! Aaaargh!

There. Now that that's out of the way I can work on making it better from now on. Can't disappoint them later on if you start out from the bottom.

I started this blog wanting to kind of record my way up from the huge slump I've had since freshman year of college. Yep. I get dreams sometimes, kinda nightmarish ones, I'm in my high school with my friends, and it dawns on all of us that we're about to graduate high school! This will all be over soon! Everything we've ever known, we'll have to leave behind. The buildings, the hangouts, the campus that feels like home.. (I have been going there since I was six) We're leaving all of it and starting new lives apart. Then I wake up and realize that there's nothing to worry about, it's already been done. I'm actually just about to graduate from COLLEGE in a few months*.

*it actually took two more years.

Oh. Thanks, Real Life, for consoling me. I guess...

While struggling (with myself) to complete my thesis, I have been doing a lot of soul-searching and troubleshooting about my life, where I want it to go, and who I want to be. All of this made way for this nifty little baby right here:

With the help of the article Design your Life by Tina Su on, I was able to kind of organize in my head and pinpoint where I really want my attention and energy to go from now on. I listed out what is most important to me, and how I feel about these specific facets at the moment. This way, when I make my resolutions or goals or generally decide on what to do next, I have this to guide me and help me aim my efforts to results that will actually make me feel happy.

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't solve everything. I still have to work on whatever I want to achieve. Some of us just need a stronger push than others, and I'm waaaay past the stage of denying that I'm one of those people. I need constant motivation and discipline, which I've honestly been trying to give myself all these years, it's worked out for the most part in consoling me and keeping my head under water, but that's not how I want to live my life. I want something more than just realizing it's okay even if I fail.

So here's to the start of a new blog, and hopefully a new lifestyle.

And yeah, duh, here's to hope itself. Us grouches need a load of that.


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