Just because you've managed to do something you love to do doesn't mean you can rest easy and just leave it like it's wala lang - you need to make an effort to keep going, because even if it stays there somewhere in your head, it doesn't mean it's going to stay easy to get out into your hands or whatever you use to get your work out there 2.0 - the rest of the world outside of that big old head of yours!
This explains my absence for many months. I could never just keep the ball rolling here. So here's a non-edited, super wala-lang post, just for the sake of getting things rolling.
These days, most of us are stuck. If you're one of the lucky ones, like me, that means stuck indoors. But for many brave souls, they are stuck outdoors, stuck outside of their usual routines, having to brave so many new perils, apart from Covid-19 itself - lack of transportation, the difficulty of staying three feet away from every other person, a suddenly very dangerous job (every "frontline" job entails being around other people!).
The lucky ones face a different peril - the peril of not feeling like you can choose what to do with your time. It feels as though we are all on guard, our fight-or-flight responses just waiting to respond to any new danger - and when you're relatively "safe" indoors - that might just mean being on high alert for any new announcement from the government, or the news. Any red ping on your social media channels, any new hoax or report, or anecdote. And it's so easy to remain frozen in your seat, with wide bloodshot eyes, and suddenly free time isn't really free anymore.
Today, I felt truly stuck. I felt that familiar dopamine ride of having to keep scrolling my feeds to get updates. Updates on what, I don't even know anymore. But I just knew I had to stop. I had left so many things alone for days now, and have lost sight of what's important.
In December I had started a plan of re-hauling my lifestyle - I wanted to do a less-is-more approach and to monitor it through my journals. Since then, I'd have stretches of time where it was easy and good, and a few times where things suddenly changed drastically and I get confused and feel unable to keep habits going. 2020 has been a particularly topsy-turvy year. But I wanted to treat it as an opportunity to train and test the habits. But these days since I've been stuck indoors, I have done little apart from just watching my feeds. I guess it's the ambivert in me, wanting to know how everyone else is doing. But today, I'm taking my control back.
I decided to leave my feeds alone for 5 hours. Just 5 hours! Just to break the negative momentum. I decided to look back on my habit plans. I'm going to take back my control.
I need to put out at least as much as I'm taking in.
I hope you find a way to find yourself, take a bit of yourself back, during this strange time. Remove the non-essentials. It's a good easy way to suddenly have some perspective in life, when things suddenly go very very wrong. Find what it is that would make your days feel like they're what you want to make of them. Take a little bit back each time. Find who you want to be, no matter what the rest of the world is like. Then take it day by day, until you can just keep it going. Upward. Forward. Onward. That's my new catchphrase. I know it's corny. But I love spacey stuff (U.F.O.! Isn't it cute?!) and to me it truly works to make things catchy and silly. Whatever works!
Let's keep moving, friends. We can do this. We can stay human.
U. F. O. !🚀
No comments:
Post a Comment