Sunday, May 18, 2014

"I write to discover what I know"

I had my Visa interview on Friday and I'm starting to feel the anxiety. I know I can make it through The Week of Not Knowing, but right now my nerves are sending me to the edge! It's at times like these when I'm happy that I write things down. I use my own past writings to reassure myself about things. It's amazing how much you subconsciously know that you can't use to your own benefit when you sit in silence and wallow in negative feelings, and it's amazing how writing things down, actually feels like learning them anew.

Right now I'm reading this one, to keep myself open to both possibilities while just focusing on the good feelings, and to be okay with either result. A lot of the feel-good "it's going to be okay" stuff I write are not only shout outs to the universe, but to my future selves as well. In case I forget to catch my breath. In case I forget what makes me happy. In case I forget what is inspiring to me. It's a way of connecting with myself, connecting each present fleeting self to another self in a different state of mind to allow for self-reflection and improvement. Let's face it, we don't retain everything we learn permanently, at least consciously. It doesn't hurt to ask help from the past.

There are other things I wanted to write about on here, but at the moment I can't really let my mind sit and focus on them, but they're coming! Probably this week. But for now, I'll just sort out my nerves and relax; it's still the weekend after all.

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