Saturday, March 2, 2013

'da pressionnns

it has come to my attention, that although episodic at most, i might be suffering some kind of depression.
i never formally considered it or acknowledged it, partly because i don't live in a place where it's considered a legitimate disease you can be cured of, and partly because it felt like i'd be giving myself an excuse.

both of these are still true, and i still don't feel like i deserve any help.
and it's not like i've been diagnosed by a professional.
i've just been dealing with the same thing for a prolonged period of time, read statements, and found things that rang true to me which i won't discuss because i would sound very whiny and annoying to myself.

but the thought of telling anyone for the purpose of getting myself properly tested just seems weak, shameful, and if i don't particularly "pass", embarassing. so i probably won't do it.

so i don't know if acknowledging the possibility of it really means anything.
but here we are.

it's like constantly being in shallow water
you can't rest or you'll drown

if you've gotten a sense of desperation in my attempts at helping myself, it would not be completely amiss.

don't worry about me though, 
i'll always get my head up every once in a while

and that's all you really need to keep living.

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