Pinky Toes

I feel inwardly narcissistic and shameful of it, but I must allow myself to be, to let the full extent of creativity flow.

What is too much self? The self gets in the way: both in thinking too much of itself, and in prohibiting itself from showing too much of itself. ( ?? !!!)

As my life is now, I don't feel free - nobody is stopping me from being myself, but the roles I have taken up in my life constrict the flow of me allowing myself.

The self is a vessel of perception and truth. There is no way but through it, but we must also rise beyond it. What a dizzying task.

I am creating an environment where I can feel safe to let my negative feelings around using the words “Me, Myself, I” fall away, and get to truth. Making space for myself, without judging, or self-flagellating.

Art is exploring truths - daring to get into a state of existence, rawness, vulnerability, and emotion, (shamelessly), that may not be convenient or practical. Yes, it is in the fringes of reality. Yes it is an escape. But like bathing in the sea, there are ephemeral things that we have to momentarily experience to allow us to continue with the everyday and essential with more ease, perspective, calm, freshness.

I guess I'm finding out that I want to live beside the sea. Storms, sand, and all.

Art is Caring less about convention, diverging. Creating. Something new. Even if it’s essentially useless or frivolous.

Art is human. Like wisdom teeth. Like pinky toes. On our way to being this, life gave us a little extra. But it's part of who we are.

 It may not be essential to the survival of the body, but it is essential to the survival of will. 

At the end of my life, when I'm dying, this is the thing I'd wish I'd done if I don't. So the least I can do is let myself try.

Make a mess.