Catching Up

on thursday i went to QC to finally hand in my thesis draft.

*screams internally*

a day before, abbie expressed desire to have a creative brainstorming session over milk tea.

so after meeting my adviser and returning some books to the library, i met up with her at katipunan 

we had lunch at kfc and went to moonleaf

when she first contacted me i simply thought she was just randomly brimming with inspiration and ideas,

little did i know that she just got out of a MAJOR phase of distress in her life! i do my best to keep in touch via twitter and i always make it a point to read her feed when i feel like she's down (i don't to this for anyone else hehe ʕ❀ᴥ❀ʔ) but i thought she was just feeling depressed mood-wise (not to trivialize it of course! moods are just as real as feelings that have an outside cause, they're just easier to treat internally) so i didnt feel alarmed or whatever. but yeah she went through tuff times! but the worst is over and im really glad..

we talked about everything and anything and she was hyper from recovery and i was sabaw from a whole week of not really sleeping (like, i'd take naps of course) and it just felt like we had so much to talk about and it felt really nice. plus, there's the actual brainstorming which - was awesome because we're on the same page about making a channel on youtube! her idea is for us and our cousins/siblings to collab on it, and soon after we were thinking of ideas and concepts for videos. i'm really excited about all this!

i didn't make it a point to tell her this, because i didn't want to make it weird, but inside i was kind of feeling  touched + happy that she wanted to see me, and that we were being so hyper together, and that we spent a whole afternoon together. i lived with her in their house for five years in college, but because we were studying, the time we spent together was usually quiet! we rested together i guess. and i was always the more expressive one. i always wished she opened up to me more naturally, but lately it's been easier to talk to her about that... i used to be scared to say anything about it, because it's not like she's doing it on purpose! shyness isn't something you can cure by telling someone "don't be shy." and i really understood where she was coming from, so i tried not to push her.

but i guess she encountered some sort of change in herself after going through her recent trubblez. she told me that she got to express her feelings to her family at home, and i felt really warm and almost teared up to be honest, cos i felt a bit relieved and happy that she can talk about stuff like that to them. i always worried about her, i didn't like the idea of her suffering more than necessary, just because she didn't know how to express pain. ANYWAYYYYY (/end super dramabellz..im not even going to proofread this because ew feelings)

so it was AWESOME catching up, and i'm really looking forward to spending more time with my cousins this summer, especially to do stuff that involve being creative and laughing one's butt off.

another thing about "catching up": i learned a money lesson today...

you know how you think you know how to do something until you have to do it? i learned a valuable lesson about restraint yesterday. i'm not going to go into details, but the lesson was:

"when you have more than usual cash at hand, think about how much you want to save, and mentally 'delete' it. so that you'll go about your day having a mindset of someone who only has the amount of money that you do want to spend."

it's as if cognitive dissonance had made me simultaneously believe that: 

1) i can afford to spend more cash, and 

2) i will have money to deposit at the end of the day

when in fact, these two possibilities cancel each other out. so yeah. you spend and you spend and it catches up on you. get it. yeah.

anyway, lesson learned, and i don't think i'll forget that one! although, i'm actually happy with the makeup i bought (they're cheap, i just don't really have a lot of money to begin with) so whatevz

kk byby!

★★★