Monday, June 11, 2012


Tomorrow, (or later on today rather, as alas, my insomnia has kicked in again) Aizel and I are going to our local gym to enroll for a month.

Yep, I'm finally giving up on the idea that no, no, my room can be conducive to exercise with the right amount of willpower! Because 1) I've two months of inactivity to disprove that it's not going to happen, much less in this weather and I'd rather sleep fat than sleep in a stinky room and 2) I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I actually have none of this so-called willpower and I can only succeed by tricking and trapping myself into doing things. Oh what a healthy relationship we have, Self. 22 years of this. True love.

There's three of us who have decided in my closest circle of friends to get fit together and enroll in the same gym (there's only four of us, Carmen won't be joining because uhm, she's already fit as it is) so that's a huge incentive and motivation for me. I'm not a very social person but I love the few real friends I have dearly and they do charge my soul quite deeply so I think having them there to look forward to will be a good thing.

I'll only be in there for a month to get back to my firmer shape I had in April which was thanks to my Aerobics PE class:

I feel a bit bad because when I put that bikini on I had a whole body acceptance stint about how I never thought I could wear string bikinis and now I can so even though I'm chubby I'm happy and it's not about being thin anymore. But as it appears, it may not be about being thin, but it IS about being firm, and around that time I was previously moving a lot (it was only a month after school ended) and had actually firmed up without me really noticing. And now I'm actually flabby again. My I measured my breasts and they are now C-cups and cannot be held as prettily as they were held by the bikini in that picture!

In short, I have to make movement a routine one way or another, even if the routine will have to change every now and then because I somehow hate routines from a deep crevice in my soul that I cannot get to just yet.

So while I'm waiting for my lionbear to get here, I have one month of gymming, and when he gets here we'll be walking around a lot and travelling, and he isn't quite a foodie like me and I've got a very adaptive personality so I'm guessing  I won't be binge eating while he's around. I don't have a plan yet for after he goes back to France but I'll cross that bridge when I get there because honestly I don't even want to think about that time yet and being apart from him again and such.

I just hope that by that time my stomach has already shrunk and I simply won't feel like eating so much anymore. I should also probably work on eating less sweet food to restore my tongue's sensitivity to it.

Meaning more of these babies! Just strawberries, grapes, and water. No sugar. Yummy anyway!

See? When you have zero willpower, you can find ways around things by tricking yourself. Strategy, man.

Anyway, I leave you now with a little materialistic fitness wishlist I'm not really determined to accomplish because I have what I need, really. I just like lusting over things so sue me. :3

  1. Loose fit tank tops with big arm holes

  2. I've always had a thing for big armholes because I have a big upper body and it's not very comfortable on the pits when the garment is touching it. And big arm holes just look better on my body shape. And look cute when your sports bra in a contrasting color peeks up from your rib cage  heuheu. I also like it to drop straight down from the peak of my jugs because I don't want my curves or lack of them to distract me in my moves.
    This one is from Nike but I actually would prefer to just go to a clothing surplus store nearby because I can get ones just as cute for like a sixth of the price for a Nike one or less.
  3. Sport bras - Again these are Nike's but the really cheap ones I saw when I bought the bikini would do. I just hope they're still on sale if I ever come back. Sigh.            
  4. 600-1000ml non-drip waterbottle - This one's a water bobble. Innit cute? PE has made me learn that 600-650 ml bottles hold just enough water for me. Enough to quench my thirst without being too bulky. But I'm willing to amp it up to a liter just to make sure I drink enough everyday. 
  5. Happy Trainers - I want trainers in a color that will put me in a good mood when I look down at my feet. Like these ones.

Mini-reflection for today: As it stands, it seems that I'm wired to not keep things up. But I keep on trying, and that's something right?

Mkay, that's all. It's really late (/early in the morning) Bye. :)

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